My Dead Ex-boyfriend

Hey readers, I’m back briefly to share a poem. What inspired me? A recent visit with a friend who’s had more than enough trouble with a persistent stalker, to the point of requiring a restraining order. Also reading about an old acquaintance who is now an urban beekeeper in NYC. And finally watching the beautiful daisies I’ve had in a vase slowly wither and die. Mash these things together in a bowl, add some dark sugar, a little eye of newt, throw it in the oven and out comes a freshly-baked gloomy poem.


He Was Pushing Daisies


The doorbell rings.


“Special delivery for Vivian,”

says the stranger holding a small card

and a bouquet of decaying daisies.

The card reads, “Vivian I am dead serious.

We belong together. Do you like these flowers

from the cemetery? See you soon.”

The petals are pale and wilted, sick with the scent of sweet rot.


On this gray day of fog and feelings,

I look outside, see the dark shapes of trees in the distance.

Shiver. Let a tear escape because I can’t escape him.

I knew after three dates he was Wrong.

Showing up everywhere, calling, wanting, creeping –

even in my dreams.

I broke it off quickly but he wouldn’t disappear.

Said I was “the one.”

The one that got away, I smile to myself.


I remember him crumpled on my kitchen floor

after I released the bees. First they brought him to his knees,

and, as he flailed about, they stung him until he was pushing daisies.


Lucky me, able to dispose of him with one deadly allergy.

My smile vanishes. It’s been one week and my dead

ex-boyfriend is back.


The doorbell rings.


12 thoughts on “My Dead Ex-boyfriend

  1. Oh my, oh my! This is Rod Serling and Alfred Hitchcock good. It was going good with the clever dodge and bee sting solution. I was smiling wickedly and then, he’s back. The doorbell rings. That is when I saw Alfred smiling and heard Rod’s monotone strain, welcome to the Twilight Zone. Good chills!

  2. Love it Lauren, its a good one! I has been sat here, (hitting page refresh every 10mins) for the last 2 months! LOL I love the idea of stalkers, they are so weird! I know its no joke, but there is a stalker in each and every one of us, not that all of us are that sad – of course the vast majority never stoop so low, could we? Would we? Who knows?

    RE. Stalkers & Stalking – Ever seen the film “Audition” its Japanese, such a great film! I’ll not spoil it, tho I’m so tempted to reel off the stuff that goes down in that one!

    I like the idea of your dead ex-boyfriend, the bee allergy, I imagine what he looks like now! LOL This reminds me of some of the Clive Barker stories, which I utterly adore! I shall have to read more of his stuff.

    Pushing up daisies is a great expression non? I like the idea, seems to me a good way to wind up 🙂

    • Thank you my dear stalk- I mean, reader! Now you are fulfilled for the next 2 months.

      I have not seen that film, but I did just watch a good Korean film called The Handmaiden – a sort of psycho-erotic thriller I think you would enjoy. I’ll add yours to my list. I do watch things eventually, like I finally watched Ex Machina and thoroughly enjoyed it, especially that dance scene.

      Ya, the ex-boyfriend is a bit puffy now! Not looking so hot. Bee afraid. Bee very very afraid.
      Oh I love the “pushing daisies” expression as well, also because daisies are my favorite. Pushing daisies wasn’t in the original poem, I added it a the last minute just reading through it again.

  3. The Handmaiden sounds terrific! I had a look at the trailer, def looks like my kinda thing! I think you’ll enjoy Audition, its one of those special treats!! LOL I’ll say no more!

    Gotta love the daisies! When I was a young lad, (LMAO) I don’t know why this tickles me now, but when I was a youngster, about 9, or perhaps 11, well sod it, there wasn’t much to do around there anyhow, so I went and made a daisy chain, it was about probably 30 foot long I’d say! Bit of a wild flower massacre, I don’t think I saw it that way, I never really thought about what I was doing. I was in love with all the girls really, and I admit, its hardly a macho thing to do and all that, but I’m not gay! No really, chicks were crazy for that shit back in the day!! Not!!!

    Nice bit of work here Lauren, always good to see your dark side fun! 🙂 🙂

  4. Glad we have similar tastes and can exchange new favorites to watch. 🙂 Omg, haha, yeah right, I’m sure all the girls followed you around, hopelessly waiting for you to talk to them. “Make ME a daisy chain, oh please!” You could have started your own cult!

    Thank you, the goal is to write a lot more dark poems this year, enough to submit the entire collection to a local publishing company.

    • I made a new video of my last bike ride with a ton of goth music on it, but the damn thing has been uploading for like 45mins – for the 2nd or 3rd time, so it looks like I’m going to have to shorten it! Bah! Its only 1/2 hr long! Yeah, ok, I admit, I was thinking of a girl when I made that damn thing, who knew it would get me into trouble 30+ yrs later!?!

      I really dig dark stuff, as you know, I like your style a lot! ❤ 🙂

      • What were some of the bands? Did you post the vid anywhere? Arg, me hate when downloading takes forever. Those blasted girls… 😀

        Thank you, I’m thrilled to let that darkness seep out of my brain and have others enjoy it. Makes the writing process easier.

    • I posted my video at last, duno why it wouldn’t upload the other day, it may not last long if I get nobbled over copyright! Also I was away for 4 days, shall blog that trip in a day or 2, been invited away again this weekend, so sudden rush of activity over here backing up my usual lethargic style!!

      I used music by UK Decay, Cocteau Twins, and Fields of the Nephilim, its all from the 80’s, and maybe early 90’s, so I was having a bit of a throwback, but its all good!

      Oh yes indeed, one has to express ones dark side, otherwise, there may be untoward consequences! 😀

      • You get out more than I do, that’s for sure. I’m almost always in my little bat cave and my boyfriend has to drag me out. I went over and took a looksee at your cool video!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s