First of all, Happy Haunting everyone! It’s my absolute favorite time of the year. This morning I sat with my tea, mesmerized as the trees out back purged their leaves. Each fell in its own perfect way, floating willy-nilly… twirling here, dipping there, until landing peacefully below. The cars and pavement are now decorated with rust, bronze, and gold treasures. Oh, and all you people who roll your eyes at the seasonal pumpkin spice invasion? I feel a little differently about it all. The other night I dreamt that I was lost at sea, but all of a sudden there loomed before me Pumpkin Spice Island, where fall is year-round and so is pumpkin spice everything. Oh hell yeah. Shut up and take my money.
Onward to the meat of this post…last night I attended a Halloween party at a local Mini Cooper dealership. Every year they hire the same creative folks (the people who invited me) to decorate the place and they go all out. Way, WAY out. This year’s theme was the movie Animal House so we were encouraged to wear togas, though you could wear whatever costume you wanted. As a writer I’m constantly making observations, so here’s a taste of what I saw last night:
A great mass of Mini Coopers sat silently in the parking lot, but deep bass throbbed from the main building of the dealership, and as most of the place is floor to ceiling windows, I could see costumed people bobbing around. The door whisked open and I was transported back to my college days. Open bar straight ahead, beer pong table to the left, dance floor to the right, and a line of people making fraternity pledges. I grabbed a jello shot and a burger, then settled down in a fog-veiled seating area to begin my wild night. Above the DJ, a gorgeous mermaid art installation floated, suspended from the ceiling. She had glowing fishbowls for boobs with shimmering goldfish darting around inside. That’s not all that was glowing – there were lava lamps scattered throughout the place. Fake spider webs graced the walls and Animal House movie references could be found randomly around the building.
After I finished my first course, I wandered to the front where a line of uniformed youngsters burst through the door, dancing and banging drums. There were kids in early elementary school on up to high school performing in this special ethnic drumline and dance troupe. They marched through the dealership and finished their routine outside, drawing delighted applause. Immediately following that, a fearless fire artist began playing with fire – dancing with it, eating it, juggling flame-engulfed sticks while riding a unicycle…the crowd formed a circle around him. Across the circle a white wolf sported a plaid shirt and jeans. Not a real wolf, it was a young man dressed as a wolf wearing everyday clothes. His bunny rabbit girlfriend stood next to him, amazed at fire boy. Moving clockwise around the circle I could see a witch, more people in togas, a sexy taxi cab driver, some John Belushi lookalikes, and other creatures of the night.
Once the fire extravaganza fizzled, a bunch of college girls stormed the crowd with gobs of pillows. They threw them every which way and screamed, “PILLOW FIIIIIGHT!” 10 minutes later, our drunken mob was coated in feathers and out of breath, with hoarse voices from all the screaming and laughter. After downing a drink, I wandered inside to the back warehouse where they had about 6 Mini Coopers decorated for a contest. After admiring them I headed to the ladies room and waited in line for quite a while. Ahead of me were two wasted cougars and I’m not talking about costumes. Long blonde hair, Botox, and tight dresses. Both attractive ladies. They asked me what galaxy I was from, for I had dressed up as a cosmic sorceress. “I come from Laleiria,” I replied. They liked that and began grinding and shimmying on each other. “Dance with us,” they commanded. I danced as a cosmic sorceress would, which pleased them to no end.
I discovered a mountain of donuts on a table so I grabbed a pumpkin spice one (YUSS!!) and watched as an impromptu burlesque performance began on the dance floor. There were actually some children here, and I spied a youngster nearby wearing a superman costume. He appeared to be maybe 8 years old. He kept looking at me with wide eyes so I tilted my head and gave him the sorceress glare of doom. From that point on, any time I saw him the rest of the evening, I made a point to gaze at him unflinchingly and pretend to whisper spells.
Giant fish balloons drifted around the room. A large video screen played snippets of the Animal House movie. On the stairs, a spotlight hovered over a guy who began playing a guitar and crooning out some old tune. An angry toga-wearer snatched his guitar away and smashed it to smithereens on the stair railing. I ducked as a piece flew my way. Everyone cheered. They announced some raffle prize winners and by that time, I was ready to call it a night. Woo! What a night. This morning I needed Excedrin.