Observations at a Halloween Party

First of all, Happy Haunting everyone! It’s my absolute favorite time of the year. This morning I sat with my tea, mesmerized as the trees out back purged their leaves. Each fell in its own perfect way, floating willy-nilly… twirling here, dipping there, until landing peacefully below. The cars and pavement are now decorated with rust, bronze, and gold treasures. Oh, and all you people who roll your eyes at the seasonal pumpkin spice invasion? I feel a little differently about it all. The other night I dreamt that I was lost at sea, but all of a sudden there loomed before me Pumpkin Spice Island, where fall is year-round and so is pumpkin spice everything. Oh hell yeah. Shut up and take my money.

Onward to the meat of this post…last night I attended a Halloween party at a local Mini Cooper dealership. Every year they hire the same creative folks (the people who invited me) to decorate the place and they go all out. Way, WAY out. This year’s theme was the movie Animal House so we were encouraged to wear togas, though you could wear whatever costume you wanted. As a writer I’m constantly making observations, so here’s a taste of what I saw last night:

A great mass of Mini Coopers sat silently in the parking lot, but deep bass throbbed from the main building of the dealership, and as most of the place is floor to ceiling windows, I could see costumed people bobbing around. The door whisked open and I was transported back to my college days. Open bar straight ahead, beer pong table to the left, dance floor to the right, and a line of people making fraternity pledges. I grabbed a jello shot and a burger, then settled down in a fog-veiled seating area to begin my wild night. Above the DJ, a gorgeous mermaid art installation floated, suspended from the ceiling. She had glowing fishbowls for boobs with shimmering goldfish darting around inside. That’s not all that was glowing – there were lava lamps scattered throughout the place. Fake spider webs graced the walls and Animal House movie references could be found randomly around the building.

After I finished my first course, I wandered to the front where a line of uniformed youngsters burst through the door, dancing and banging drums. There were kids in early elementary school on up to high school performing in this special ethnic drumline and dance troupe. They marched through the dealership and finished their routine outside, drawing delighted applause. Immediately following that, a fearless fire artist began playing with fire – dancing with it, eating it, juggling flame-engulfed sticks while riding a unicycle…the crowd formed a circle around him. Across the circle a white wolf sported a plaid shirt and jeans. Not a real wolf, it was a young man dressed as a wolf wearing everyday clothes. His bunny rabbit girlfriend stood next to him, amazed at fire boy. Moving clockwise around the circle I could see a witch, more people in togas, a sexy taxi cab driver, some John Belushi lookalikes, and other creatures of the night.

Once the fire extravaganza fizzled, a bunch of college girls stormed the crowd with gobs of pillows. They threw them every which way and screamed, “PILLOW FIIIIIGHT!” 10 minutes later, our drunken mob was coated in feathers and out of breath, with hoarse voices from all the screaming and laughter. After downing a drink, I wandered inside to the back warehouse where they had about 6 Mini Coopers decorated for a contest. After admiring them I headed to the ladies room and waited in line for quite a while. Ahead of me were two wasted cougars and I’m not talking about costumes. Long blonde hair, Botox, and tight dresses. Both attractive ladies. They asked me what galaxy I was from, for I had dressed up as a cosmic sorceress. “I come from Laleiria,” I replied. They liked that and began grinding and shimmying on each other. “Dance with us,” they commanded. I danced as a cosmic sorceress would, which pleased them to no end.

I discovered a mountain of donuts on a table so I grabbed a pumpkin spice one (YUSS!!) and watched as an impromptu burlesque performance began on the dance floor. There were actually some children here, and I spied a youngster nearby wearing a superman costume. He appeared to be maybe 8 years old. He kept looking at me with wide eyes so I tilted my head and gave him the sorceress glare of doom. From that point on, any time I saw him the rest of the evening, I made a point to gaze at him unflinchingly and pretend to whisper spells.

Giant fish balloons drifted around the room. A large video screen played snippets of the Animal House movie. On the stairs, a spotlight hovered over a guy who began playing a guitar and crooning out some old tune. An angry toga-wearer snatched his guitar away and smashed it to smithereens on the stair railing. I ducked as a piece flew my way. Everyone cheered. They announced some raffle prize winners and by that time, I was ready to call it a night. Woo! What a night. This morning I needed Excedrin.



Yours truly, the Pumpkin Queen.



26 thoughts on “Observations at a Halloween Party

  1. Sounds like you had a real ball there! Wow tho, at a mini cooper dealers? We don’t have stuff like that at car dealers here, it sounds like pretty full on party meister heaven! I’d be trippin!

    And look at you! With your little pumpkin there, the socks, the boots, that purple outfit, you got the look! Holy All-Hallows, thats a spellbinding picture! 🙂

    • It was probably the best party I’ve ever been to. Those car dealers make a ton of money and they must really love Halloween at this particular place! Haha, thank you very much. I was feelin’ my colors that day and knew they would contrast beautifully with the pumpkin.

  2. {Welcome back, Bug!} OMG! What a party! “Shut up and take my money” Mine too, please. 😛 And I agree with Ogden. You look amazing and the sorceress glare of doom, while holding a pumpkin and wearing those boots is Laleiria Legend. All my teen fantasies about mermaids are enhanced now. I can’t thank you enough for that. You’re the best!

    • Not 100% back, but thank you! One more Halloween party to go to later this week. Ha, that’s not my glare of doom in the pumpkin picture but it IS rather serious, I suppose. Just wait till I have some costume photos.

      You can buy wearable mermaid tails now. Just yank one on up to your waist and you’re good to go for a lovely swimming session. Buy one for your ladylove!

      • Oh! More Halloween parties and costumes? I can’t wait to read about it. Yes, that was a cool look, a very serious look. If it wasn’t the glare of doom, I can only imagine the implications of the real thing. 😀 Hey, those wearable mermaid tails sound like just the thing for some quality mermaid activities. Black Dragons are water dragons so it’s not a stretch at all. . . I feel a short story coming on 😀

      • Indeed, I party hard during my favorite season. I’ll be sure to practice “the look.” You totally need to write some mermaid tales! If you don’t, I will.

    • Certainly a night for those kids to remember – lots of swinging tassels and babes galore. There was also this chalkboard where you were free to write or draw anything. I saw the kid in the superman costume drawing a little monster or something and right above it was a big dick! And next to it, the word cuntastic. Eek…

      And thanks, see the puffy sleeves? That’s so my huge muscles can fit under there, haha. 😉

    • I probably shouldn’t have any children if I continue to live here. I was born in Missouri and look how I turned out, though! 😀 Mmhmm. Ya, I bet you could bench press me, too (125lbs at the moment).

      • Damn… that is very light indeed. Im still trying to get this body thing put to bed once and for all so dropped a lot of weight last six weeks. No 9 stone tho! Thats light gurl! Or maybe its a normal girl weight, I wouldnt know actually.

      • I’m also short so I think it’s in the average range for my height. I try not to obsess about the number on the scale anymore. If I like the way I look in the mirror and how my clothes fit, I’m good. So you’re still at it? What’s the final goal?

      • Just to be unashamed in a t-shirt. Dieting again to slim down some unwanted muscle packed on during last diet! Unfortunate, but I wont make the same mistake again.

      • Aww. A guy who has too much muscle and wants to rid himself of some? That’s unusual to hear. Well, best of luck with your endeavors. I wish I had that problem, but alas it’s fat I’m always battling.

  3. I’m more of an apple spice lady myself, but I don’t understand the abhorrence of pumpkin spice. I never hear anyone complain about bacon flavored everything, which permeates the zeitgeist all year long. Let the pumpkin witches have their (your!) pumpkin spice. It makes people happy, and more of that in this world is never a bad thing.

    I’d love for car dealerships to do something like that around here. I would possibly eschew my introversion, gird myself for battling crowds and go for a bit! It sounds like you have a phenomenal time 🙂

    • Apple is lovely as well! Pumpkin spice…guess it’s too mainstream now. 😛 Bacon isn’t seasonal. I think people become annoyed at the influx of pumpkin spice everything all at once.

      This party was perfect for Miss Introverted Me! There wasn’t any need to talk to people – just watch one performance after another and keep my mouth full of food and booze. You would have been perfectly at ease, I’m sure.

      • It isn’t, but people seem to be unreasonably offended by pumpkin spice, and I don’t understand the hate. It’s not my favorite thing, but it makes people happy in a fairly easy way.

        Ah yes another introvert! I enjoy people watching and observation, giving them lives they may or may not have. When I was a little younger and would go to goth clubs that was one of my favorite pastimes. I saw it almost like a royal court, and I would attempt to place everyone in a particular role. It was always entertaining looking for that evening’s king and queen.

      • Maybe it’s also the pumpkin spice and white girls thing someone started. Silly stuff.

        These days it takes a lot of motivation to actually go out anywhere and socialize. I have to be in just the right mood. We have some goth nights here but I’ve heard there’s considerable drama these days so it’s probably best not to go too often. Love the idea of a gothic royal court! When I visited NYC last year I went to a goth night and noted how much fancier everyone was dressed than they were here in Kansas City. It was glorious!

  4. Hi Lauren! Just wanted to let you know the first scene of my new short story, My Soul, My Sin, My Mermaid will post this Friday on Veterans Day. Naturally, It involves a couple of gnarly veterans in a bar in Papua New Guinea and a winsome mermaid. It just so happens that another reader, Natasha Pea, posted a vid of her drawing a mermaid on her Instagram @bookclubintrospect and that sealed the deal. It’s dark and delightful. Hope you like it. Still no fotos of my faded tattoos but I may sneak them in on the tail fo this mermaid tale. 😉

    • Hey Daniel, thanks for letting me know! How many scenes total will the short story be split up into? I went to take a look at the mermaid – so lovely, and I’d be delighted to read this aquatic tale, especially with bonus tattoo photos! Whoop!

      • LoL! Hi Lauren. I was just examining the deliquent tattoos and being rather mature, I’m afraid they fit the category of past their prime. Pegasus, is still hanging in there but his best equine personality trait is a bit fuzzy too. I’ll work diligently to present them in an artistic way that surely won’t cause any trauma that can’t be unseen. The mermaid tale will rival Nabokov’s Lolita with the exception, our Mermaid is of legal age to wed the sailor of her choice. It will likely only be 3 scenes. A short story, about 3,600 words. Hyperion does get himself mixed up with the strangest people because he hangs out in out of the way bars in foreign countries and that is where every fairy tale is born. A few mermaid tales too, since Port Moresby is a seafaring town. 😉🐉

      • Haha! Well, I’ll be patiently waiting. Lolita is on my reading list as well as Kubrick’s film. So many books, only one life to read them in. Sigh. I can’t wait for the next installment of your story – when is it landing? I bet you have a lot of cool (and strange) friends from around the world.

    • Thanks, that means a lot! 🙂 And no worries at all, you’ve been moving and going through a ton of stress. I’ve been absent for quite a while, too. Going to read some of your latest entries now!

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