Observations at Trader Joe’s

Trader Joe’s by the way, is an American chain of specialty grocery stores that caters to health-conscious folks without emptying the contents of their wallets (unlike Whole Foods).

I copped a feel of this grapefruit that looked promising. As I held it in my hands, gently squeezing it, I glanced at the front door area where a multitude of fresh flower bouquets sat on a special display. Today was Valentine’s Day. Several men hovered around the flowers, taking their time, smelling the individual bouquets and examining them thoughtfully. Then, every few minutes or so, a dude would walk in and mindlessly grab a bouquet as he walked by. No checking it out whatsoever, just snatching up the nearest one. I could just sense them thinking, Obligatory Valentines bouquet, CHECK!

A little ways to the right, a variety of chocolate bars sat on another display, and many longing eyes passed them – except for one lady on her phone. “Ohmygawd, they have, like, the best chocolate combinations. Ever. Like ohmgawd. This shit is serious, Becky! Should I get the sea salt and dark chocolate or the coconut caramel? I just like, can’t make a freaking decision! GAWD…” She absentmindedly twirled her bleach blonde hair with the free hand, and then placed that finger on her pouty lip, looking up at the ceiling in order to think extra hard. Brain, are you there? It’s me, Barbie! I can’t decide on this chocolate, ohmygawd…  I spied hot pink bejeweled nails.

I wandered on over to the booze section since I needed to pick up some saké. For whatever reason, several lumberjacks were there. Probably not real lumberjacks. Just the fully-bearded, plaid-clad fellas sporting suspenders in the name of fashion. Or maybe there was a secret lumberjack convention I didn’t know about. Axe-wielding, maple syrup-guzzling, muscle-rippling, mountain man goodness. Let’s think about this for a moment. Picture these guys below picking out quality wines and maybe some butternut squash risotto. Y’know, just stopping by Trader Joe’s on their way back to their cabins where the Missus is waiting eagerly. I can appreciate that.


Hey girl. Did you want me to pick up some Pinot?


Hey girl. I thought some organic beet greens sautéed with garlic and marmalade sounded nice.


Hey girl. I can start another batch of gluten-free flapjacks. Just say the word!


28 thoughts on “Observations at Trader Joe’s

  1. Ha,ha,ha, Lumberjacks! We have this beard fashion here too, I hadn’t thought of them as Lumberjacks, but no doubt over there the fashion is going to go that route – here its more of the eccentric throw back, all very twirly moustaches and Edwardian steampunk look!

    I got say, I find this whole Valentines day thing most peculiar – we had a discussion at work about it on Friday, all the different approaches to it among our team, Michelle said her husband isn’t romantic, so he will just wake up and say “Happy Valentines Day” and that’ll be it. I actually thought that was quite romantic, in that its caring – and surely caring, is romantic? More so than a “buy off” I’d have thought, but then perhaps actions mean more than words – or do they??

    • I think you’re right. How does one really measure their worth with material objects? A nice sentiment communicated verbally should suffice. If it doesn’t, then what kind of relationship is it really?

    • I figured it wasn’t just America. 😀 They’re also known to be snobs about beer. Oh yeah, and the mustache, for sure! I’ll have to post a photo soon of my Great Great Grandfather…he had an epic ‘stache.

      Certainly it is nice to receive the occasional gift but Valentine’s Day is so overcommercialized it’s sickening. No one should feel obligated to buy something to show their love. I wrote a poem for my loverboy and I got a little something nice in return.

      • i have never sported any kind of beard in my life! (I do like that one “Sports” a beard!) Where does that come from? What the?? But yeah, I mean no, I never . . . I sort of oughta, just to see, you know – I love this mad fashion, most amusing, some of the beard named styles, “The Explorer” for the just back from everest / south pole type are best – tho the triply ones are ace too – I think if I grew one, it might be ginger, I’m biased, cos in my day beards were for hippies, and I was punk, yet to never grow facial hair, like Ever – in your life Ever – well, it seems a it pedantic, well, you wouldn’t if you were a girl, of course, almost certainly unsightly, maybe I’ll fence off an area and do some test growths, yuk tho, nasty!! Nasty beardy facial hair! Don’t like it, not on me anyhow!! Maybe if I go on holiday, alone, for a week, but even then!

        You must post your G>G>G>Father, sounds awesome! And at least back then it was the proper way to present oneself!!

      • You can sport all kinds of craziness these days. It’s interesting you never have. What a coincidence, I haven’t either! I’d like to see a photo from the punk days. I’ve never actually seen a punk with a big bristly beard, come to think of it. Nasty beardy facial hair, oh no, keep it away! I shall have to post something soon, as it’s been a while and I’ve been bad with keeping up.

      • I shall have a rummage and see if I can find these photos I have and upload them! Ha,ha, the fashion back then wasn’t so good as it is now!

        Yes, about time you posted something, I always enjoy your observations and musings! 🙂

      • \i dug out a couple of old fotos of me with a mohawk! Thing is, they are quite embarrassing as I am extremely drunk in one, the other is ok, but I still look like a dork!

        Oh sod it, here goes nothing!

        This one was at a friends engagement, or 18th, or both! I think a friend took it from a wall at his work!


        This one was a jolly night out in London, we always drank like maniacs overtime we went out!! LMAO!

        I don’t know why we were like that, but I was one of the worst for it!!

      • Ahaha! Thank you very much for bravely posting those drunken and dorky pictures. It’s kind of how I imagined you to look – wild and goofy, that is. Now we need a current photo of you wearing animal print! Just as many dorky pictures of me exist as the “cool” ones from photo shoots, believe me. I’ll have to post some so people can see who they’re really dealing with.

      • That leopard print might have looked better if I’d torn a few holes in it, but I could never bring myself to scrap something that cost £1.99 – ha,ha, and the drunkenness, well, I always was competitive, I never saw anyone so drunk, so basically, I won that!! 🙂

        Mostly I used to have my hair just a curly mess, these days I have it short, but occasionally it grows same as ever, no mohawks these days, but maybe one day I will, just this current job I have wouldn’t suit 😦

        Yah, more photos! Photos are good 😀 Xx

  2. I like the look. Not my style, but it works for the right kind of person.

    I was listening to the Geologic podcast recently where Geo was describing an elderly man riding a bicycle off in the distance. As the man approached he realized that it WASN’T an old man in old man clothes, it was a hipster.

    • Yeah, it’s not something I really go for but it’s interesting. I’m not a big fan of lots of hair – especially facial hair. No offense to anyone reading this! We ladies all have our own tastes. Ha! That’s typical here in Westport, a special hipster area of town.

  3. That last guy is pretty horny. Im not even gay here. I was in a traders joe’s once- I loved the vast quantities of nuts in dispenser thingys, that’s my main memory. Theres nothing like that place over here, there should be. I didn’t even notice Valentine’s day, and I’m glad! Hope you enjoyed your grapefruit.

    • Oh yeah, he’s just waiting to convert you straight boys. Trader Joe’s is always so busy I have to get there super early. I hate it when other people are watching me and waiting on me while I pick out fruit and other produce. I like a no pressure shopping experience. Roses are red, violets are blue, my grapefruit was sweet, and my hair is also blue. And that little poem is the result of the hot toddy I’m drinking right now. 😀

  4. I can’t wait to get a Trader Joe’s. I hear they have great bourbons for a reasonable price. My mother taught me at a young age never to handle and axe without proper groin support. One slip with that axe and your personality could be completely bifurcated. Another great post, Lauren. You capture humankind at its best.

    • They do have a great selection of booze at reasonable prices. They almost always have samples of wine and other stuff, too.

      😀 And how many times have you actually handled an axe?!

      Thank you. I’ve been terrible about replying to comments and posting as much lately. Guess I’ve been out and about, living life. But I always come back to my blogworld eventually.

      • I’m always happy to hear from you, Lauren and I do recommend living life out and about so when ever you drop by for reading or comments is a good day for me. I actually have several axes of various sizes. You can never have to many tools for bifurcating things. And of course, I use them regularly. But, I’ll admit, I wear heavy denim and boots because I have a terrible habit of keeping them sharp and they’re dangerous in the hands of a daydreamer. I’ve got more dragons waiting for you whenever you need a recharge.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s