My Dad Smells Like Antonio Banderas

Dad hinted that he was out of cologne a week before Father’s Day. At the perfume counter I requested 10 different colognes to sniff. I finally settled on Seduction in Black by Antonio Banderas. I thought it smelled like spicy sweet woods. The official description says “Oriental notes of amber are mixed with warm, woody accords in a very juicy and spicy way, along with fresh and sensual notes. Top notes include luminous sparkles of bergamot with tart zests of black currant. A heart of the masculine fragrance Seduction in Black is filled with fiery spicy notes: coriander, cardamom, and nutmeg, while a base hides woody notes of cedar, Tonka, amber and musk.”

I know Dad well and I knew he would like this particular scent, but the whole theme surrounding this cologne is completely not my dad, which Mom and I found quite comical. Right before opening his new scent, Dad had been working outside in the yard and was extremely sweaty. He wore old jeans and a white t-shirt with grass stains and random holes. He sat at the kitchen table with a cold beer. He began to unwrap the present, pausing briefly to take a swig of beer and let out a powerful belch. I half expected him to honk out an equally impressive fart shortly afterwards. There, sitting before him, was a glossy black box with Seduction in Black scrolled across the front and a lovely black and white photo of Antonio on the back, looking sensuous in his black button-down shirt which was partially unbuttoned at the top to reveal his hairy chest.


My dad smirked. Mom started snickering. “Go ahead, give it a whiff,” I suggested, grinning all the while.

“Yeah, seduce me!” Mom commanded.

He spritzed some onto his arm. “Are you enjoying the luminous sparkles of bergamot with tart zests of black currant?” I asked sweetly.

He chuckled, his grey-blue eyes meeting my gaze. “I like it.” My dad is known for his brutal honesty and intense criticism so this was a job well done on my part. Mom also gave it a thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Mom tried to imagine him on a black horse riding through some misty woods, all sexy and mysterious. She snorted. You see, my Dad is all about working outside in the dirt, fixing cars, getting greasy, sweaty, and being totally goofy all the time. You will rarely see him dressed up and trying to be seriously “sexy.” He does clean up quite well. He’s even reminiscent of Antonio because he has black, rather wavy hair and a darker complexion. If he lost some weight then he’d give Antonio a run for his money.

“Dad smells like…Antonio….Banderas,” I whispered in a seductive Spanish voice.

Years ago I worked at a local drugstore behind the perfume counter. It was around that time that Antonio came out with a new cologne and we had all these marketing materials to use. We had to play this silly video advertising the cologne. Every time someone bought a box we were supposed to give them a free hat. It was a black baseball cap with his signature in white across the front. I wish I still had my hat because it was a real conversation starter. Someone would look at it, squint, and say, “So, uh…you must be his number one fan.” And I would wiggle my eyebrows and do my Spanish whisper: “Antonio….Banderas!” Rocking that hat helped me sell more cologne. I wish Antonio could have seen me wearing it.

What cologne or perfume are you wearing at the moment, if any?


6 thoughts on “My Dad Smells Like Antonio Banderas

  1. I got caught up in a rather curious episode concerning the cologne “Knize Ten” a few yrs ago – a blogger friend from LA did a blog about how the nose and brain interpret smells and how perfumers study molecules and so on in the manufacture process etc, etc, I found it quite interesting, then he asked me if I could get him some Knize Ten, as I’m in Europe, and it was hard to find in the USA. Well, I had a look in the local shops, and online, but couldn’t find any of the stuff, so I just said no, sorry, can’t find it here either. It was fine as it turned out he managed to source some over there.

    Meanwhile, I read some reviews on Knize Ten, I found them to be frequently hyperbolic – nectar of Gods etc, etc, so I was interested in the history of this phenomenal stuff, particularly popular in the 1950’s – said to smell of diesel oil, leather jackets and frankincense. Well, I do ride motorbikes and wear leather, so I felt I shouldn’t feel out of my comfort zone. But was Knize Ten worn by discerning Germanic business men of the 1950’s? Or 1950’s metropolitan Aryan homosexuals meeting in underground places? Would it matter if they were or were not? (Business men I mean)

    Anyway, about a yr passed, and I searched again for Knize Ten (I really don’t know why) and suddenly, it was available, so I bought some! It smells ok, it goes off a bit on day 2, and one feels inclined to scrub it off, which isn’t easy – I wonder if you’d “go for it” (snigger)

    • I’m very much intrigued by your description of this scent. I love the smell of leather and oddly enough, I also kind of like the smell of gasoline when I’m filling up my car. Maybe it’s because my dad has always been a car guy, always fixing our cars and smelling of motor oil and that sort of thing. This also reminds me of the “Sex Panther” cologne they speak of in the movie Anchorman – illegal in 9 countries, made with real bits of panther…
      Whether it’s businessmen or whoever, whatever floats their boat, haha. I’m still curious though what kind of dudes mainly wore it back then. What really makes me snicker is the fact that the bottle itself says “toilet water.” I know, I know…it’s synonymous with eau de toilette, and is a weaker concentration than perfume and all that. I’m real mature, though! My favorite when it comes to cologne is anything that smells woodsy. Mountain men, enchanted forest, that kind of thing. Throw some leather in there and I’m sold.

  2. Glad you liked that, I don’t know how come I got all those ideas about Knize 10, and all that stuff – I think perfume was being talked about quite a bit at the time, as I read on that guys blog about how traditional perfumes were made using an “expert nose” but now they were beginning to use machines to analyse molecules and so on – blimey, I remember now, it got more complex than that – have you heard about how quantum physics people (or whatever they are) say does light go in waves, or as a beam, or something, I don’t know, but they say it goes in both, which is a famous contradiction – anyhow, they were saying they didn’t know whether smells go from one molecule to the next, causing vibrations which are sensed buy the nose, and its not just some stuff smells better than others, its to do with how molecules work or something! LOL So there you go! I just taught a lesson in it! 🙂

    Ha,ha, yes you’re right, it DOES say “Toilet Water” LOL I been “done!”

    Now, yes, of course, wood smells, totally agree, but I was just thinking – I love the smell of bacon, to smell of bacon must surely be a positive thing? Hence, my new idea, “Eau De’ Smokey Bacon” (by Ogden Fahey) © (and a dash of leather of course! 😉

    I’m not sure how the gays got into my story, I think I’d just read something and it provided me with imagery, but I confess, I’m quite old, I was at school in the 70’s, back then no men wore any perfume whatsoever, not until about 78′ when it suddenly became fashionable – we had a youthful-ish art teacher (mr Howard) who used to bathe in the latest man products, we used to call him “Honky Howard” LOL – Honky, over here, was a 70’s word, at least in London area where I was raised, we would say “ohh, he don’t half honk!” LMAO – it was such a pleasure to hear people express themselves that way, now I live up north, the language and style is quite different, much darer humour, anyway, he wore white shirts with wide collars and black trousers, flared! Quite stylish, everyone assumed he was gay, on account of his good looks and so on, then one day my friend spotted him snogging a female teacher in a car park – from that day onwards he was every boys hero! I wonder what he was wearing, probably “Brut for men” or “Old Spice” firm favourites at that time, both now considered to be a dreadful faux pas.

    I really must get myself something nice to wear, I need to get past this thing with the bacon / oak / leather combo, people are drooling over me! 🙂

    • Should I start calling you Professor Schnoz? I don’t doubt they would use machines now to analyze the molecules! Or robots.

      As for the Eau De Smokey Bacon, I’ll get right on the marketing materials – we’ll get an Ogden Fahey hat with your signature and a video promo with you laying on a dazzling beach with gorgeous women feeding you bacon…and everyone’s wearing leather! You’re going to make some little piggies angry, though.

      That’s interesting about how perfume suddenly became fashionable around ’78. I love the lingo from the 70s. I’m known to use some of those words on occasion though I haven’t used “honky” yet. Also enjoy hearing British terms like “snogging,” hahaha.

      I can dig it, man.

  3. awww sounds like your parents really do like each other (at least in this episode!) thats great! and good that he likes his new perfume! also, the hat story XD so sad you dont seem to have it anymore 😦

    • They have their moments! I bet you someone stole that hat. it was probably worth thousands of dollars, haha.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s