FrumpaDumpDump

My last couple posts were pretty serious and I like to mix things up so here is a wacky poem. It’s as silly as they come. I was sitting at home with greasy hair, lumpy sweatpants, and a bad case of the mornings. Started listening to some Digital Underground to get juiced up. Pretty soon I was dancing as that often happens when rap is playing. So this poem, or goofy rap, if you will, was inspired by those circumstances. And by the way, I don’t really go to work like that. Some people at my work do, but not me. 😉

Schlumpy Pants

I like to look frumpy.

I go to work looking downright dumpy.

I don’t brush my teeth, I don’t comb my hair,

I’m wearing the same pair of underwear…

I look atrocious!

I got a real bad case of halitosis.

My armpits haven’t been shaved in a while

and I have no idea how to use a nail file.

I like it funky.

I’m dirtier than a grease monkey.

My makeup looks disgusting,

my wedgie needs adjusting…

Hold up. I gotta rip one.

That’s right, now we’re havin’ fun.

I look like a hobo, I used to play the oboe…

I like to rock my sweatpants

and do a little thing I call the schlumpy dance:

I schlump it to the left, I schlump it to the right,

My booty’s gonna schuffle schlump all damn night.

Alright, back up in this – It’s time to get ridiculous.

That’s right, I’m wearing MOM jeans.

I drive a mini van like it’s the coolest thing.

I don’t got much more style than a nun

and I like to wear my loafers till the break of dawn, son!

My Grandma looked better in her ugly cat sweater!

Break it downtown and step into the trance

It’s time to give it up for the schlumpy pants dance:

I schlump it to the left, I schlump it to the right,

My booty’s gonna schuffle schlump all damn night!

frumpadumpdump

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