The Day They Took It Away

I think it probably sounded like a guttural animal moan and/or warble, but the noise accompanied by the shaky, “Nooo!” came out of my mouth before I even realized it. I stared in horror at the drive-thru speaker. The words that had just come through sank to the pit of my stomach and settled like a block of ice. Stunned, I silently repeated what he had said. “We don’t carry the cheesy bean and rice burrito anymore.”

We were a match made in heaven.

Taco Bell. Cheesy bean and rice burrito. This was the burrito that was always there for me on a bad day. The burrito that whispered sweet nothings in my ear before each bite. The burrito that oozed with perfection…every ingredient swirling together into one harmonious, orgasmic bite. And it was only $1.23. For years it was the only thing I had ever consistently ordered at T-Bell. A staple in my boyfriend and I’s diet. So, when 30 minutes prior to this event, he sent me an outrageous text about T-Bell not making it anymore, I just couldn’t believe it…had to see for myself. And here I was, dumbfounded in front of the drive-thru speaker.

“Are you there, Ma’am?” the speaker hurled me back into reality. Shaking my head, I mumbled, “…yeah.”

“I’m sorry about that. Is there something else I can get for you?”

“Do you have anything similar to the CBARB?” I pleaded.

There was a pause, and a glimmer of hope fleeted by. “Well…we can throw in some beans, some rice, some fresco salsa and nacho cheese sauce, and that should be pretty close,” he said.

“Hmmm. How much?”

“Um let’s see…that’d come to $1.73. Is that okay?”

It was close enough. “Yeah, let’s do this!” I said. Tonight, I would pay fifty cents more for my glorious wannabe CBARB.

I was on my way to my boyfriend’s, so I took it over there and waited for him to pull up in the driveway. He had just got off work and gone to Taco Bell on his way home to get dinner. I couldn’t take the suspense anymore and began devouring the burrito in my Jeep. Similar CBARB sensations hit my tongue, and it was nearly identical…but it just felt wrong. I wrapped up the last of it as the boyfriend pulled in. We both got out of our vehicles at the same time and made eye contact. A silent message passed between our heads: Taco Bell, you’re an asshole. We might still come and get a chalupa, but in no way are you forgiven.

Let there be rallies on the streets! Taco Bell, you’re doing it wrong.

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13 thoughts on “The Day They Took It Away

  1. I am validated that I was not the only person that felt betrayed and abandoned by this discontinuation. A college-aged friend turned me on to it two years ago, and I was a huge fan. Thanks for the virtual memorial service for an old friend (albeit one that I gobbled).

  2. I feel completely validated on my outrage over the discontinuation of the CBARB! I feel like someone killed my cat. Taco Bell is not even worth going to anymore. I’ve tried going there two different times since I learned of its demise and it is just not the same any more. I will have to see if I can get Taco Bell to make an imposter CBARB for me. Sigh…

    • I like to give T-Bell a dirty stare every time I drive by these days. However, I heard on the radio today that they have some new dorito taco shell? I’m tempted. Even if it’s amazing it won’t ever make up for the biggest mistake they ever made. Oh no.

  3. I’ve been ordering 7 CBARB every week for years…. Today my grandson told me they don’t have the cheesy bean and rice burritos…..! That’s the dumbest thing you every done Taco Bell! What were you thinking?

  4. Indeed! It still fills me with sadness. 😦 But what Dan said above gives me hope…maybe they’ll bring it back?

  5. Obvously they discontinued it because it was so economical. They will give us something that is a bit more that costs much more.

    • True dat. Doesn’t change my feelings for that beloved burrito, though. And probably anything that they discontinue is going to be someone’s “favorite” item, so no matter what they remove from the menu there will be outraged customers. But when you love something so much, you have to give it a farewell speech…or just an angry blog post. 😀

  6. I only liked the zesty chicken bowl at first with the zesty ranch dressing. It was practically heaven for me!! They took that away. 😦 Then I only got cheesy bean and rice burrito and they took that away to! I havent been to taco bell ever since! Stop taking out everything I eat!!

    • I’ll admit I still go to T-Bell sometimes. I’ll have the burrito supreme or their mexican pizza. But I still get emotional over the cheesy bean and rice burrito. Taco Bell, what were you thinking?!!! Grrr. I never tried the zesty chicken bowl.

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